Kimberly the Teachaaa

Wow. Where to begin. I need to update my blog more frequently! It is Thursday and I last wrote to you on Wednesday, I believe. So much has happened since then, it feels like weeks.

Btw, this is quite long. You may need a snack to get through it.

Last Thursday we went for our medical examinations. In order to stay in Korea, they test you for TB, HIV/AIDS, other STDs, drugs and weigh you and stuff. I love seeing health facilities in other places, it is always so interesting, and sometimes shocking! The clinic we were at was so different from what I thought it would be. First off, we were made to not eat before the exam (no idea why, it’s not like eating makes you HIV +) so we were all starving. There were about 60 of us that were getting everything done, but they moved us along pretty quickly!  We got xrays for TB and then were sent for our urine tests. Low and behold that involves peeing into a Hello Kitty Dixie cup…no joke. You pee into the Dixie cup with Hello Kitty’s face on it and then hand it over the lab person. Totally open and exposed! We were all quite grossed out, all walking around with cups of our own pee. After handing over Hello Kitty’s cup of pee, we got blood draws. Those were interesting. I hate blood and have passed out more than once getting it drawn. Plus, I hadn’t eaten. I willed myself to stay alert, but it was quite difficult during the process. No gloves were worn, and the bloody needle tips were in a bin (I could see them all) next to me. I got a little queasy and dizzy, but thankfully didn’t pass out! The good news, I am disease and drug free and get to stay in Korea! Hooray!

After that, we went to restaurant outside the prison. We had Bulgogi beef for lunch, and the vegetarians had rice and seaweed. They eventually fried us eggs, so I had some egg to go with my rice and seaweed. I have to say though, that was the best meal I had all week during orientation, the food there was literally the worst I have ever eaten. The most interesting part of the meal was sitting on the ground to eat, something I had never done before! Everyone was quite uncomfortable and it was fun watching everyone squirm and try to keep their legs from falling asleep.

After lunch, we went to a local Korean history monument and museum. It was huge and really awesome. I learned a lot about Korea’s history (particularly recent) that I had never known, that was fascinating.

Orientation continued to slug along and I continued to starve. We were released from the compound on Monday, when we were introduced to our co-teachers. I was a little (ok, a lot) nervous about meeting my co-teacher. Would they speak English well? Would it be a man or woman? Young or old? In Korean culture, age is very important and if someone is older than you are, you should be respectful of them (much more so than in the US) and women and men have interesting relationships. So, my worst fear was an old male that did not speak very good English. The role of our co-teacher is to help us out with pretty much anything (life, school etc…) and discipline in the classroom while teaching. My co-teacher showed up and turned out to be an older male, with limited English…But he is very kind. He was mystified as to how I could have so much luggage! It literally almost did not all fit in his car (cars are small here). I told him on the drive to the school (one of the most awkward drives EVER) about being vegetarian to avoid issues. He was like, why? I was thinking, ok, how do I explain why I do not eat meat to someone with limited English…so I said, well, I like animals. Then he goes, oh so you have many pets? Lol. I thought it was funny. We immediately went to the school, where I met the principal and other staff members. It was very awkward at first, not really knowing very much Korean. I had been studying my ass off the previous week trying to learn ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’ (they have two forms) and ‘thank you’. It sounds ridiculous considering the number of words, but I struggled like no other to learn them. We got to the school and I was (of course) instructed to take my shoes off and put on indoor slippers (like slip on rubber sandals that have the white and blue strips, athletes often wear them).  As soon as I take my shoes off, I am mortified. My black nail polish on my toes is all chipped to shit and looks horrible. Plus, I am the only one in the school without socks. I try my best to hide my toes while freezing my ass off. The schools hallways are unheated and unbelievably cold. It has been hovering around freezing here, so it is cold. Plus, I was wearing a light cardigan over a t-shirt button up and thin slacks and now sandals with no socks, in freezing (or below) weather.  I met everyone then was informed we would be going to lunch. We walked there in the freezing weather, me without a coat, freezing my ass off. It was a cold, cold walk. Thank god I had told my teacher I was a vegetarian! He was so nice; even though we were at a meat restaurant, they ordered me special soup and seaweed to eat! He also explained to them all that I don’t drink coffee (very weird here). The lunch was ok, awkward because they all spoke Korean and I don’t. My co-teacher tried to translate a lot. Except the times when they would point or I would hear my name and then laughter….So, who the hell knows what they were saying about me. Other than the unexplained laughter, everything seemed to be going ok, I haven't been called fat yet by the teachers (lol) and had actually been called very pretty with very pretty blue eyes many times.

After lunch, we went to the real estate office to get my apartment and move in. I was still in my clothes with no coat (and now no access to it, the car with my stuff magically disappeared and we were using another car). I was told I would be moving in immediately. I get there and there is clearly an issue, though they were speaking Korean (obviously) so couldn’t understand. My co-teacher just kept saying, everything ok! We waited at the office for maybe two hours and finally went to the apartment. Except, without my shit. We got there and they couldn’t get the door opened…So, we left. I was told someone was living there and hadn’t moved out. I asked when could I move in then? At this point I was utterly exhausted (I had gotten about 3 hours sleep the night before due to packing) and freezing my ass off and just wanted a warm bed to fall into. I was told in one hour I would move in. Right.

So, off back to the real estate office. After a while, the real estate person and my coteacher inexplicably left, for at least a half hour. Leaving me to chat with a Canadian whom has lived her for three years. He gave me the ins and out of the city and lots of advice, which was great. At that point, I had spent about 3 hours in that damn office, and finally my coteacher and the real estate person came back. They said, apartment ready! Sweet! So, we got into the car again (still my stuff was MIA) with the Canadian I had been talking to. We pulled up to the apartment and I was instructed to wait on the street with the boxes of stuff the school had given me (old kitchen shit). Umm, wait, outside, on the corner with this shit? Yes. Be back soon, I was told. So, I waited. And then, I waited. Then I waited some more in the 32 degree weather without a coat.

Eventually (I’d say maybe 30 minutes later?) my coteacher and the real estate person showed up. Thank god I thought! I couldn’t wait to get into “my” new apartment and pass out on the bed wrapped in blankets with the heat cranked. The door was opened, and, low and behold! People still lived there. Clearly, nothing had been packed. I wanted to cry, right there. Oh, and there was no bed. I looked at them and I was like when can I move in? The real estate women (through my coteacher) said one more hour. Ya…right. I knew this wasn’t getting packed in an hour. But, we moved my shitty kitchen stuff in anyways.

We then went back (again) to that god-forsaken office and became completely frozen to all that was going on around me due to extreme cold, hunger at that point and exhaustion. After about 7 hours later, another real estate guy (Mr. O, I was told to call him) showed up who speaked great English. He said, finally, you move in! So away we went (again, without my stuff).  We switched cars and I was finally reunited with my stuff, which I was very happy to see. We went to the apartment and it was cleared out, not clean, but cleared. Still, bed MIA. I inquired about the bed to Mr. O and he asked, “Oh, you need a bed?” I was thinking no shit Sherlock, I need a bed!!! I am not fucking Mary Poppins! I do NOT have one in my suitcase, contrary to the amount of shit I have! Instead, I said, why yes, I need a bed. He said, ok, maybe. WHAT?!?!?

My coteacher and another teacher from the school moved up my 160 pounds of luggage up 3 flights of stairs (they didn’t allow me to help). They were laughing their asses up all the way up, probably saying in Korean, “WTF, why does she have so much shit? Man, I am getting old, can’t carry stuff like I used to!” Or, something like that.
One of the guys left and I then told my coteacher that I had a gift for him. (I was told to bring a gift from home for both my coteacher and principal. Earlier in the car I had asked my coteacher when I should give mine to the principal and he said NO! Principal does not like gifts). I tried to hand him the gift and he goes, “NO NO NO NO NO! I not like gifts!! Gifts very bad!! I not want gift!!!” Some other things were said, I was yelled at for quite some time. He left and I felt completely discouraged, exhausted and defeated at this point. I sat down on my blanket on the floor and just stared at the ceiling not sure what to do next. So, I opened the gift I had for my co-teacher and ate it. LOL. It was smoked salmon and delicious. What else do you do in a moment like that?

I sat around throwing myself a pity party for a while until people I knew came on skype so I could freak out to someone. Thankfully, one of those people was a guy who had been here two years already so knew the ins and outs of what I was going through. He (Chris) is a friend of Cj/Liz’s, Kelsey’s brother and sister-in-law) and they “introduced us” online before I left. He was an immense help and offered to come to my town the next day (Tuesday was a holiday) and help me sort everything out!!  We did all sorts of fun stuff; including grocery shopping and a trip to Home Plus (wal-mart, essentially). I got most of my basics and was very glad I had a pack mule around to help haul it all around ( : It was great to talk to someone who understood how shitty it can be here at times.

After I had real people to communicate with, I picked myself off the floor (both figuratively and literally) and started unpacking. Then I decorated my room with probably a hundred pictures. Feels and looks like home and all the ones I love! Plus, I hung a purple sarong from Costa Rica on the wall to purple it up a bit. Then I went to bed; night one on the floor.

The next morning Chris came to visit (he lives in Busan) and we went to Daejeon (bigger city near me) he helped me get everything I needed and made me feel less like I needed to curl up and die. It was a fun day and I got to experience more of the Korean public transportation system with someone who knows how to use it!

The next day was my very first day as a bona fide teacher. I didn’t expect to teach, but to plan for the week (week was only Wed, Thu, Fri). There was a welcoming ceremony first thing and I was given a corsage and had to stand up in front of everyone and bow. I was instructed when to do what since I couldn’t understand a thing. Just another awkward Korean moment. I spent the rest of the day in the teachers planning room freezing my ass off. The school has no central heating and it has been in the 30s or less here. Can literally see your breath. The classrooms have heaters, but if the door is opened to the hallway it is as if you are outside. I spent much of the day visibly shaking and my coteacher told me, “don’t worry, next week spring.” Ya, ok…

I tried to talk to my coteacher about my lessons for the coming week. He said, “oh, no lessons next week.” I was slightly confused, so I said, “ok…so when will I first teach?” He said, “oh, maybe next week?” Hmmmm. That is Korea for you! I spent the day making a powerpoint/lesson based around introducing myself and my rules for the classroom. It was quite fun! I was informed I would have to stay after school for an English teachers meeting. Meeting was in Korean. So clearly, I was needed. Then I was told literally as I was walking out the door, “tomorrow, you teach.” Sweet. TIK (this is korea).

I went to school on Thursday very nervous to teach. As you probably all know, I am not a teacher. Nor have I ever taught anything. As soon as I got to my first class, I was instantly relieved. The majority of the girls were painfully shy and getting them to speak was one of the hardest things I did. I just tried to be fun and a bit silly (while being stern, if that is possible) to make them comfortable. After the class, my coteacher said she was very impressed with my teaching style. I was so relieved to hear that! I had a second class later that afternoon. As soon as I walked up to the group of girls, I knew. I knew they were going to be a horrible class. And unfortunately, I was right. Within the first 10 minutes, my computer stopped working so I had to do without the powerpoint. TIK. Gotta be able to think quick on your feet. During this class girls yelled “PENIS!” at me, yelled at me in Korean and were generally screwing off and being assholes. The coteacher did almost nothing (they are there for disciplinary issues, among other things). I realized I was losing control so I just started laying down the law. I started taking their shit from them. They talked, yelled penis, or refused to participate, were drawing (or even one girl was whiting out) on their desk, it was mine. I had books, pencils, whiteout pens, paper and an array of other random shit by the end of the period. By the end of the class 2 of the worst 3 girls were following rules and actually participating and had stopped yelling penis, thankfully. There is still one girl who may have to be taken down a notch next week…we will see. I was utterly drained after that class. One of those WTF am I doing here moments. The coteacher asked how many years I had been teaching because she was surprised at how well I handled the girls. Apparently, I am good at controlling 12 year olds. Lol.

After school, I had to go to a welcome dinner for the school. I knew it would be awkward. I don’t speak Korean and most teachers here speak little or no English. I knew it would involve meat. I don’t eat meat. Two things I will constantly have to deal with here. We arrived and it was a bulgogi beef dinner…meaning I had next to nothing to eat. But, that’s ok. We were seated on the floor in three very long tables. My coteacher and I were the first there and as they came in I was like the last kid to get picked for kickball. NO ONE wanted to sit next to me. When I say no one, I mean no one. People would point and then shake their head. Do I smell or something? The entire other side across from me and the other two tables COMPLETELY filled up before people sat next to me. Comical and sad at the same time. It was a giant, WELCOME TO KOREA from the school. Eventually people had no choice and a girl around my age sat by me. Thank god she did! She speaks English amazingly well and has traveled all over Europe, so we had lots to talk about and she has been to Vancouver. So the dinner turned out not so bad. Until….the soju came out. Man, can Koreans knock that shit down. Soju is essentially like vodka, but I think it is made from rice. But, that might not even be remotely true. Google it. They poured me a shot and I was like OMG I can’t take this. I had probably had 900 calories total the entire day (Korean food and I still don’t get along very well, mainly due to meat) and had eaten lettuce for dinner. But, you can’t refuse drinks in Korea, it is seen as very rude. So, down the hatchet went the soju! I figured I had taken my requisite soju and was done. WRONG. “Another miss Kimbaly, another!” (my name here is Kimbaly). Shit man. So, I took another, but sipped on this so they couldn’t refill it. But, a drunk ass dude noticed and motioned for me to take it all at once. Ok…down the hatchet goes another shot of soju. In the honor of full disclosure, I am a light weight. Like, really a light weight. Especially after not eating and taking multiple shots one after another. After the second my tummy was like ahhh wtf are you doing to me?!? Then out came this wine stuff that was in shot form. I was instructed to take that as well, but I was allowed to sip. That was some tasty stuff! No idea what it was, but it was nice. At this point, I was feeling quite tipsy. From first shot to wine shot was about 15 minutes. I started panicking, thinking, OMG I CAN’T be drunk around them! Then, I looked around. What did I see? Red faced Koreans, everywhere. One man was slumped over sleeping from being so drunk. Others were cleary drunk. No, not drunk. Shitfaced. On a Thursday!!! It was quite the site. It was noticed that my shot glass was empty. I was instructed to take another shot of soju….when in Rome, right? I took my 4th shot (3rd of soju) and finally said no more to their soju offers. Woooo, was I feeling it now. Thankfully, someone stood up and said something I didn’t understand and everyone instantly stood up and put their coats on, faster than wasted people should be capable of and left me on the ground. I tried to get up without looking drunk, I think I succeeded.

My coteacher drove me home and when we arrived at my apartment there were two clearly western people trying to get in the main entrance. My coteacher turns around in the car (he makes me sit in back, lol) and goes, “western people, they are probably for you.”  I thought, no, no one knows I live here. But, low and behold I get out and they asked if I was the new teacher. I said yes and asked how they found me and they said Mr. O sent them. Mr. O is a Korean man (works at real estate office) who is apparently to go to guy here. He finally got me my bed last night after 3 (3!!!) nights on the floor. Anyways, he sent them. It was great to see Westerners. The day before I had had a really bad day, combined with exhaustion and adjusting and missing people, I really needed a friendly face! They invited me to dinner and I met around 10 or so other teachers living in Jochiwon. It is great, they are like a built in support system for everyone. We went to dinner and drinks and I drank more. It was a big day for me, apparently!!

Today (Friday) I went to school not knowing if (or when) I was going to teach, but assuming if it did happen, it would be right before. At 10:36 my coteacher came up to me and said, you have class. I looked at him and said, when? He’s like, 10:30. Oh, shit. So, now? I said. Yes, go. So I went. And then the computer didn’t work (again). TIK. I am getting sick, I have a sore throat which I am not very pleased about. Oh well, with all the travel and lack of sleep (still have not managed over 5 hours of sleep in a night since leaving home), it was bound to happen.

I thought I would write a bit about some random observations about Korea that didn’t really fit in any chronological order.

First, toilets. The toilets, or rather stalls, have little buttons with a plastic circular thing.  At first I thought it was a fan; smart, I thought. Then, I heard them. They are water sounds! People push them while peeing.  I just go, not sure if I am being completely taboo by not making the water sound come on or not, lol.

Temperature. It is weird here. I don’t know if it’s all the kimchi these people eat, or what. But, the hallways are completely unheated (and freeeezing) and then they open the windows! You have to wear coats in the hallways and can see your breath at all hours of the day. The classrooms though, are literally in the 80s. My body is freaking out, not sure what season it is in. I wear layers, lots of layers. I have been wearing leggings under pants and two pairs of socks. Plus a tanktop, long sleeve, nice shirt over long sleeve, then a sweater and then my coat. And still freeze!!

Indoor shoes/slippers/sandals. In Korea, you must take off your outdoor shoes and put on indoor shoes (sandals) to walk around. The ones the school has given me are huge and I trip in them going up and down the stairs constantly. So much to the point that I have ripped them from the fronts getting caught on the stairs. And, let me tell you. When white girl trips, EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, notices. It is completely humiliating. I have resorted to using the bathroom when classes are in session lest to avoid people starting and gawking and me tripping. Also, people wear them outside. To lunch, to assemblies and etc…Yet, you can’t wear normal shoes. It makes no sense to me. Oh well, TIK. I am going to buy my own this weekend (most people have their own) that are a little more stylish and quite a bit smaller.

Teeth brushing. Everyone brushes their teeth here after lunch. I forgot my toothbrush the first two days and was horrifying the teachers each time I didn't join them. So, today I brushed my teeth for the first time with them. They literally brush their teeth for 5-10 minutes. I just kept brushing, wondering when the hell it would end. Finally, when the first person stopped, I felt safe to do so as well. Lol.

Now, I will write about some of the things the girls say to me in the hall or on the way to school, other than penis.

“you Kimbaly?!?! You KIMBALY?!?!” They all know my name. All 1000 of them. I have met 120.

“Teeeaaachaaa Kimbaly, is it you?” No idea.

“Your eyese, so prettttttyy!! You so beautiful!!” This is constant, lol.

“Teacha, pretty! Teacha cutie!”

“Where you from?” Me: Seattle. “Seattle?!?!” I LOOOOOOVE Seattle!” Girl freaking out making a heart with her hands.

Student: "Teeaaacha! Look at me! You eyes! I look at student. Student: "Teachaaa, you eyes! So blue! Contactsa!" Me: No, these are my real eyes. Student: Teachaa liah!!! (liar).

And so many more, it is quite comical. Plus I get a million Hiiiiiii and Heeeeey and Hello walking through the hall. When I say hi/hello back and wave the girls freak out and lean on each other. I am like a rock star here, like Justin Bieber level. Hopefully, it dies down soon. I am the first female English teacher here in years, apparently.

Also, my school got me a comforter and is it purple! Somebody was apparently paying attention in the Meet Miss Kimberly presentation.

Ok, well I think that is about it for now. I hope you have enjoyed this novel. I am Busan bound this weekend, very excited!!

See you all later! Miss you!

Love, Kimberly