Stuck between a literal rock and a hard spot

I am an avid water enthusiast. I do pretty much all water sports and have next to no fear in the water, which has gotten me in trouble a few times.

We had the day off today from trainings, so Jen, a midwife who is training with us, and Susan, who I work with, decided to go white water rafting. I have been multiple times in various other countries and loved it, and they were like sure sounds good! Susan has a mild fear of water, so she was getting a little uneasy, but I assured her it would be fine.

The Nile River is known for extreme white water rafting, and people come from all over the world to do so and to kayak it. The rapids were a level 5 today (generally the highest that a rafting company will take people through). The Nile is also very deep because it is so wide.

We set off, got a very scary safety briefing on all the things to do and not do. As I had done this multiple times before, it didn’t phase me as much as it did Jen and Susan because it was their first time hearing all of these things.

We had heard from other colleagues who have rafted the Nile that they flipped their rafts, and assured us we would also flip. I hadn’t ever been in a raft that had flipped before, so wasn’t all that worried. I was actually a little bit excited at the prospect of flipping, LOL! Water adrenaline junkie!

Be careful what you wish for.

As soon as we got in the raft, the guide made us jump out because he wanted to see how we did in the water and if we could get back in. All the women massively failed at getting back into the raft (myself included). It is REALLY hard pulling yourself up over a boat with gear on!

We set off, and pretty quickly approached our first rapid. Jen and I were in the front. We coasted down what appeared to be a straight shot down (and the photos later seemed to prove this!) and we plunged right into the water, but didn’t tip.

IT WAS SO FUN!

We lost one person overboard (but we quickly got her back). My adrenaline was pumping. The photos in the beginning are hilarious because I look like a kid, smiling wide, having fun, and most everyone else looks terrified. After our second rapid, everyone seemed hooked. We didn’t flip! Other rafts had, but everyone was loving rafting.

As we approached the third rapid, the guide told us the direction to swim “when” we tipped. If you’ve never been white water rafting, the general setup is everyone sitting on the edge of the boats (not in the middle, which I thought before I went the first time), paddling as hard and as fast as they can through the rapids to navigate them. When paddling isn’t going to do anything, the guide yells, “DOWN!” and you get down in the boat, hold your paddle, and hold the rope on the side of the raft. You are never supposed to let go of the rope. Let me tell you, it is A LOT harder than it sounds!!

As we enter the rapid, I can see (and hear) that this is a much bigger rapid than the previous two. Before long, our guide yells, “DOWN!!” and we all get down. Almost immediately I could feel us tipping sideways, and before I could even process, we were under the raft, underwater, rumbling down the river. I knew I was somewhere in the middle of the raft because I couldn’t immediately feel any rope, but eventually climbed my way out. I held onto the raft for maybe 2.5 seconds before letting go. Jen, Susan, and I immediately spun away from the raft, but were all together. I immediately did the universal water sports “Are you ok?” symbol, (hand to head), and everyone was. We were just floating (quickly) down the river, and couldn’t seem to catch or hold onto anything. Eventually some kayakers in our crew rescued us and we hung onto the bow and stern and they paddled us back to a raft. Another raft rescued me, but I eventually was able to get into my original raft. A little scary, but still fun!

We then spent a long time, very lazily making our way down the river. I was starting to get bored and wanted some action! Before too long, we hit another rapid, and like clockwork, we got down, and almost tipped immediately. These rapids were INTENSE! Way scarier than any I have ever done. We didn’t end up tipping, and made it down in one piece.

Shortly thereafter, they made us walk around on the shore because there were some insane level 6 rapids, which are too intense for rafting. These were INSANE. I wish I had a camera with me. The sound alone was crazy. Once we passed the rapids, we got back in the boat. The guide explained that the next rapid we were going to go through was going to be intense, and that if we went under, we would likely be underwater for a lot longer due to the currents, depths, and length of the rapids. He also said that when we tip, to swim left, because there was a level 6 rapid to our right, which we definitely wanted to avoid in or out of the raft.

He then proceeded to stand up and tighten all of our life jackets and helmets. I knew this wasn’t a good sign; we all did. But at that point, I thought, I have the hang of this, down, bail, find your way out, float, get rescued, no big deal.

We approach the rapid and he starts screaming to paddle hard and fast, before he even finishes his sentence we epically flip. I managed to keep ahold of my paddle this time, but definitely tousled in some really extreme currents and waves before surfacing. I surfaced next to Susan, who I could clearly see was panicking (remember, she has a fear of the water). I grab her paddle, and grab her shoulder of her life jacket and am like, “Susan, you are ok! You are ok!”

Panicking in the water is the worst and most dangerous thing you can do. People who panic in the water tend to gasp for air (filling their lungs with water), flail, and burn up too much energy flailing, and then they drown.

When I did my SCUBA training, my instructor was a former Navy Seals Rescue diver, and was really intense to say the least. I later learned that a lot of the stuff he had us do (skills for certification) actually are NOT skills for certification, he just wanted to see how we reacted. I.e., taking our oxygen mask off without us knowing (underwater!), never doing any skills or dives in a pool (straight into the ocean!), throwing us into currents, and other crazy (and provably illegal, LOL) stuff. He constantly would scream at us, “Do you want to die?! I have seen shit you can’t even imagine!” I can still hear Allan’s booming voice, 6 years later. All 6’6 of him. However, in hindsight, I was incredibly well trained. He is the one that taught me that panic and fear in the water are the most dangerous things. He also said that a human never wins a struggle with water, so remember if stuck in anything, seaweed, fishing line, inside a cave, whatever, immediately calm yourself, stop struggling, and relax your entire body. “Kind of like a drunk person in a car crash, they survive because they go limp” he would always say. Anywho, Allan was crazy, but I got a lot of skills I am now thankful for.

Back to rafting.

Almost immediately as I grabbed Susan, we were violently forced apart. I had no idea at the time what the fuck had happened, but apparently a raft ran right into us. I lost the paddles and was turning over and over underwater and knew I was in trouble. I have spent many, many hours of my life tousling in waves, getting (intentionally) beat up and doing crazy (and probably dangerous) shit. Which is how I got stung by a stingray in Nicaragua.

So I am rolling around, and I have no idea which way is up, which is NEVER good. I remembered our guide saying we would be under for awhile, and to not panic. Then my SCUBA skills sort of kicked in and took over. I had been holding my breath, but then decided to start slowly breathing out so I could follow the bubbles, and to prevent any underwater gasping. I also at this point balled myself up (knees to chest), and almost immediately popped up. THANK GOD.

Except, no.

I surface, breathe, and see two guides on rafts standing up and screaming at me to swim left. Remember when I said he told us if we didn’t swim left we would run into a class 6 rapid? Ya, that. I suddenly remember this and then am like FUCK FUCK FUCK. So I balls to the wall just start swimming using every bit of energy and force I could muster. But for every stroke I took, I was swept even further backwards. I knew where I was being swept to.

The fucking level 6 rapids.

Without a raft.

Again, keep in mind; RAFTS don’t go down level 6 rapids. And I was headed to them WITHOUT A FUCKING RAFT.

I am immediately swept under and can tell there is a strong undercurrent, which is partly to blame for the insane fucking shit storm pickle I have found myself in.

SCUBA Allen’s voice enters my mind, and all I can hear is,

“Breathe out slowly, tuck yourself into a ball, relax. Like a drunk person in a car crash, don’t stop breathing out slowly.”

So I do exactly that.

I keep breathing out slowly. Ball myself up. And try to relax as much as is humanly [possible when knowingly about to go through an insane fucking rapid that I am not actually sure I will survive.

I of course don’t know this at the time, but all hell is breaking loose on the surface, because hello, rafter on her own, about to go down the WRONG FUCKING RAPID. MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.

Susan later tells me everyone is screaming, but she wasn’t sure why, and it was just really confusing.

Time seemed to be at a standstill. I just kept breathing out, rolling in summersaults. Allan’s voice to keep me company. I eventually, miraculously, pop up to the surface, and I am right next to a kayak. THANK FUCKING GOD.

Except, no.

Of course no.

He grabs me, and I hang onto his bow, and he asks me my name, and if I am ok. He asks me repeatedly, so I must have not been answering. I eventually respond, and he is like wow that was scary! And then all of a sudden, it felt like the entire fucking world was exploding.

I am suddenly underwater but have no idea what in the fuck is happening. And just seconds after becoming cognizant of the fact that I am underwater, something BIG lands on me. And hard. I realize it is the kayak. A mother-fucking kayak landed on top of me.

How?

Well, I later learn, a wave come up behind us, swept up my feet, and FUCKING THREW ME OVER THE KAYAK. Through the air. I land, miraculously, between two sets of rocks, just a little bit different in either direction and I would have been immediately done.

So anyways, I am suddenly aware that I have a kayak, on top of me, and I am wedged between it and the bottom OF THE FUCKING NILE RIVER. The most literal stuck between a rock and a hard place that ever there was. What my mind can’t figure out, is why I can’t move. It also feels simultaneously like I am spinning, but I am also clearly pinned.

Again, Allan’s voice enters my mind. “No human has ever won a struggle with water. Relax, like a drunk person in a car accident. Keep breathing. Don’t open your mouth.”

It becomes a mantra in my mind. The kayak starts to slap me into the rock bottom, as if we were getting pelted with something.

BAM.

BAM.

BAM.

Me, against the rocky bottom, getting pummelled by a kayak, pinned there. I am completely flat on the bottom, getting beaten with this kayak.

It was probably the oddest sensation that has ever come over me. I got very, very calm. And very logical. It was like someone else was directing my every move.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

KIMBERLY COVER YOUR FUCKING FACE.

KIMBERLY, RELAX, LIKE A DRUNK PERSON IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

KEEP BREATHING, DON’T PANIC.

DON’T TAKE A BREATH. DON’T TAKE A BREATH.

RELAX. RELAX. RELAX.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

KEEP BREATHING OUT.

And then, I realize, I am going to die down here.

I can’t get up.

I am running out of oxygen.

I am going to die. This is where it all ends. At the bottom of the god damn Nile River.

I get very, very calm. And then I think, I am never going to get married.

And suddenly:

KIMBERLY GET THE FUCK UP! MOVE YOUR BODY! GET UP OUT OF HERE!

GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AND FOLLOW THE GOD DAMN BUBBLES!

So I did.

I don’t know how I did it, but I opened my eyes, rolled myself over (or a wave did?) I grabbed the kayak and pulled myself up.

SURFACE!

THANK GOD!

Except, no.

It is never easy with me, is it?

All I can think of is my lungs are full of air again. But I am suddenly smashed under the water again. But I immediately bob back up. All I can think about is that at least I am buying time getting more air.

I can feel something smashing my helmet, but it doesn’t particularly hurt. I think it must be rocks, but then my incredibly logical brain at that moment was like, that isn’t a rock, because you are breathing when it happens.

I later learn it was the kayaker’s paddle. He didn’t realize he was hitting me, and was trying to get out of the rapids.

I finally surface enough to be able to see the kayaker, and I grab his life jacket.  He finally realizes what is happening and pulls me out and slings me over the front of the kayak, one handed.

How? No fucking clue.

The human body is capable of miracoulsou physical feats when it has to.

I am hanging out on the bow, just focusing on breathing.

He looks at me and starts asking me my name. Over and over.

I don't’ respond.

Instead, I put my hand to my chin, and say, “My chin is bleeding.”

He tells me to stay with him.

I then try to take my helmet off. He grabs my hand and tells me to not take it off.

I later realize I was experiencing incredible shock. When you hear about people stuck in the mountains doing crazy shit like taking off their clothes? Ya, that was me. Except in the Nile River.

He says something to me. I again say my chin is bleeding

Then he asks where I am from. I tell him Kenya.

What?!!?!

He then tells me he is from Canada and to just hang on and keep looking at him and don’t let go.

I have no memory from that moment to getting pulled into the boat. I wasn’t unconscious; I just think I blacked out from severe trauma and shock.

I get up to the raft. I suddenly come to and think, “Was that really that scary, or did I just think it was?”

I look up and see everyone’s faces and realize:

Yes, that was epically fucked up.

One of the women on the boat is holding her hands over her face. Another guy is standing looking like someone was just shot. My guide looks similarly distressed.

I realize they are looking at me.

I am plucked from the water by my guide.

He grabs my life jacket, asks if I am ok.

I say, “My chin is bleeding.”

He says something, I don’t remember.

I look down, my knees are also bloody.

He looks at me and says, “You’re the SCUBA diver, right?” I say yes, and he says, “Thank your instructor, he just saved your life.”

He then asks if I want water, and I tell him that I don’t think it will help my chin.

LOL.

Except not.

People are asking me questions and telling me to do things but I am processing zero of it. I think I have water in my ears, because everyone sounds a million miles away, yet right next to me. I later realize I was definitely in major clinical shock.

One of the members of my boat hands me my long lost paddle, and the guide says, “She can’t paddle right now, she is in shock. Get the rescue boat.”

We eventually meet up with Susan, who was picked up by the rescue boat. She later tells me I was just sitting there staring off into space, unresponsive.

After a few minutes, I become cognizant of the fact that:

I almost died.

I just actually almost literally died.

I should be dead.

How the fuck did I get out of that?

Upon further reflection later, I realize that had it not been for my SCUBA training, I am most certain that I would have 1) either needed CPR or 2) been dead. I then understood what the guide meant when he told me to thank my instructor. I never panicked, I never chocked on water. Allan just kept telling me in my mind to relax and breathe out slowly and to not stop.

The guide and two others in my boat who saw this all going down later explain what happened:

The boat hit us, and Susan and I were violently pulled apart. I tried swimming, current was too strong, so I am washed down level 6 rapids. There is a brief reprieve (when I surfaced and found the kayaker), and then apparently he and I dropped into a “hole”. It is effectively a false part of the surface, which looks solid, but really has a whirlpool beneath it. The kayaker I found was from Canada and not familiar with the area. When my guide was explaining, he was like, “As soon as I saw you guys headed for the hole, I knew you were fucked, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. It swallowed you and the kayak whole.” Why I was pinned was because we were in this whirlpool, and the kayak couldn’t get out of it, and because he didn’t move, I couldn’t move. His kayaker friend later told us that his paddle wasn’t even touching the water; it was like he was surfing. He also said a similar thing, that he could see what was happening, but couldn’t get to us to help us. He later said, “That looked really fucking gnarly.”

Well, that is one way of putting it!

The guide was like, “You should have seen the kayakers face, I think he was more scared than you!” I was like, that was because you couldn’t see my face, because

I WAS FUCKING DROWNING.

I was really messed up all day from it. We had a lunch afterwards and I even drank a beer. Because I needed alcohol. I HATE beer. I couldn’t really eat. I was still shaking.

I just kept thinking, I literally shouldn’t be alive right now.

One of the women was like, “It probably felt like forever, but was probably like three seconds.” The guide was like, “No, she was down a long time. I started counting how long she had been down after awhile, and it was at least 15-20 seconds from when I started counting.”

When we were leaving, a few people had left sunscreens, and another guide was holding them up. One of them was mine, but I wasn’t processing. I finally realized and the other guide made a joke about dumb Americans, and my guide, very quietly said to him, “That is the girl who almost died.”

That is the girl who almost died.

It was a full circle moment of like, yep. I almost died. I didn’t just make that up in my head.

The girl who almost died.

On a positive note, my guide also told me that I should get a trophy for two things:

1)   Making up a new sport: Kayak-surfing-flying

AND

2)   For having the distinction of the new scariest story of anything that has ever happened to any of his clients on his raft.

Well, at least there is that.

This trip, I have:

1)   Gone through a 5-day insane vomiting sickness

2)   Had to change my flight for the first time ever due to item 1.

3)   Survived a 5.7 earthquake

4)   Survived our building getting struck by lighting

5)   Rescued kittens

6)   Survived the Nile. Barely.

While we were eating, Susan is like; I think it is time for you to go home.

Ain't that the truth.

Dear universe,

If you could get me through the next 6 days, intact, free from bodily harm, natural disasters, or other generally fucked up shit, I would greatly appreciate it.

Oh, and if it isn’t too much to ask, if you could also extend that to my wedding next month, that would be fantastic.

Sincerely,

Kimberly

All in all, I am surprisingly intact. I have a gash and huge bump (and developing bruise) on my chin and other bruises and bumps all along my jaw. I am actually surprised and thankful my jaw didn't break, I definitely have some deep bone bruises. My knees are badly bruised and gashed, and I have burst blood vessels and cuts in lots of places on my body from slamming into all the things. Moving is definitely painful, but miraculously nothing is broken.

Like a drunk person in a car crash.

Feeling very thankful to be alive, and reconsidering some of my extracurricular activities.