Homesickness

Ah, the familiar twinge of homesick. This isn’t the first time I have experienced it; nor will it be the last.

I have spent a good chunk of the last 5 years of my life living in another state (Vermont for grad school) traveling (summers in Europe, time in Central America), living in Nicaragua and now, Korea. I am very familiar with the whole packing up and leaving people behind thing. But in ways, it never gets easier. I am more practiced at it, more versed in the feelings which accompany being away from home, but it never gets any easier.

I don’t know where it came from, or what I was missing specifically. Friends, family, familiarity. I was sick of Korean food, Korea and well, life here.

I miss driving. Being able to hop in my car, turn the radio up, and just drive. Where? Anywhere; the grocery store, my friends’ houses or just around. Here, I have to walk my ass to the train and then go from there. Although public transportation is great in this country, part of my American-ness has become reliant on wanting cars to transport me to and fro.

I miss American food. I do eat it a lot (I cook for myself at home) but it isn’t the same. And, I eat Korean food everyday at school for lunch. I just want a fucking taco. Is that too much to ask?

I miss wine. Good wine; like 3 buck Chuck style. (that is Trader Joe’s wine for all you who aren’t familiar, it is delish at only $3 a bottle, seriously). I would kill for a nice, cold and crisp Pinto Grigio right about now. Wine here either tastes like shit or is overly artificially sweet. Sigh. This ain’t Italy. I would give a thumb for even Franzia at this point!

More importantly, I miss the wine+ friend combo. I rarely (actually, almost never) drank wine alone. I always had my girls around me. OMG do I miss them. You know who you are. I miss you. I love you. Come visit me. Now.

Have I said I miss my friends? I am very lucky in life and have multiple best friends. I have come to realize I am getting older, that the amount of fiercely close people I have in my life is not only uncommon, but it is very rare. I am lucky. I have talked to many, many people not only here in Korea, but in my life traveling, in Vermont and at home who have told me they wish they had the number of close friends I had or even one close friendship like I have. I have 5 people who I talk to on a regular basis. They are my rocks, and they know it. I have spent large amounts of time away from them over the past 5 years; but it hasn’t always been my fault! They have lived abroad, some live in other countries, moved to other states, went to school in other states or went traveling. Near or far, they are always there and I am always here for them. I have crossed the country and ocean for these people, and they for I. Many of which I fortunately can still have daily contact with through Facebook, texting, skype, email or calling. JenniferKelseyKristinaErinColin I fucking miss you all to pieces and love you!

I miss my family. I lived at home before leaving for Korea, and it is hard. Especially being away from my Mom. Although I get to talk to the ‘rents every other week or so, it is tough. I think what set all this homesick business off is the fact that my Dad’s 50^th Birthday was the other day and there was a party, and I wasn’t there. I skyped, talked and video chatted with everyone, but it wasn’t the same. And oh, the wave of homesickness came a-floodin’. In my experience (and most others I have talked to) it hits home hardest when there are gatherings or holidays where all your loved ones are in the same place, without you. Plus, Easter is this weekend. I will get through it, I just wish I had my Aunt Stacie’s Easter sugar cookies to console me through it! LOL.

I don’t really know what triggered it specifically, I think it was just a combination of events, but sometimes it just appears. Yesterday was rough. I had shitty classes and that on top of being homesick made it pretty bad. But, the rest of the afternoon and evening was spent in bed watching good (and bad) American TV that I hadn’t yet caught up on. It made it better. The thing about homesickness is although it often appears out of nowhere, it generally disappears randomly as well. You get more sleep, have a good meal, see your friends, talk to people back home or the shitty day you had goes away. Or, you get a package from home with lots of goodies.

And today, I got a package!! I got a care package from my Mom, Grandma and Aunt Kathy! Woo! Perfect timing! I was overjoyed to see it this morning. It was filled and stuffed to the brim! When I picked it up at the office, I knew it was gonna be good! It was freaking heavy! What did I find inside? Purple easter bunnies, Reeses eggs, Dove bunnies, Dove dark chocoloates, caramel Cadbury eggs, mint gum (tons!), Swedish Fish (one of my favorite candies), bags of Lindt truffles, Cherry Airheads, Rice Krispy treats and other goodies, two things of American Crest toothpaste to clean my teeth after all of the candy (toothpaste and gum here is weird), a new sweater and t-shirt, tons of cold/flu/cough/allergy medicine, including a bottle of Nyquil cough syrup which leaked! Thankfully it was in a plastic Ziploc, so no damage was done and only about a tablespoon or so leaked out into the bag. Hand sanitizer, lotion, EmergenC, inhalers (I have asthma and haven’t figured out an easy way to get them here), tons of magazines, a few pictures from home and tons more! I was so happy to see it this afternoon, it definitely kicked that homesick bug!! I am very thankful to have a Mom, Grandma and Aunt who love me so and spoil me as well!!

So, that is where I am at. Everyday is the same and completely different. Yesterday, 10 months felt like an eternity. I just have to remind myself why I am here (no job at home, lots of debt, want to travel through SE Asia) to get me through. And in the meantime, I have to look forward to things that will make me happy. Like this weekend, going to Seoul to be a tourist! Pretty excited. Also, hitting up a foreign/western grocer that is rumored to have pitas and taco shells! Also on the itinerary: an English bookstore and a Mexican and Greek restaurant. Should be good times. And, I will get a fucking taco.

Love you and miss you all.

K