And, I'm out.

Well hello there again,

If you haven’t heard yet, I am off to South Korea in the morning. Why you may ask? Well, it is quite the complicated answer, which I will dive into eventually, but the short version is: to teach English. So yes, with that, the blog is back!

It is currently 3:11 am. I get on a plane at 1:00 pm heading towards Seoul. My goal was to be in bed by 2. Well, 2 has come and gone my friends. New goal: 4. The exhaustion has set in and I am dreaming of sleep, but refuse to disappoint you all, so enjoy this entry!!

So, like I said, I am heading to South Korea. I will be teaching English in a public middle school run by the Korean government. It starts with a week long orientation in the province I will be teaching in (Chungnam province, feel free to Wikipedia it up!). Still a bit confused on my *exact* location…so, when I know, I will let you know! 

Just to simplify things, I will answer a few of the many questions I have received in response to my decision to move to Korea to teach. Some have been quite frequent. They are…

Have you ever been to Korea? Negative.

Have you ever eaten Korean food? Nope.

Have you heard of Kimchee, or tried it? Yes and no.

Do you speak Korean? Not a lick!

Are you a teacher? No again! (Starting to see a trend? Lol)

Are you excited/scared/nervous etc…? Yes, all of the above and more.

Reading the above responses, one may wonder, why the hell are you headed there? Well, my friends, like I said above it is a complicated answer. One I am not even sure I have a complete answer for.  As you may or may not know, I finished my master’s degree in Sustainable Development last July and started the job hunt in September…to no avail. I had 8 interviews, applied for a shit-ton of jobs and came up with nothing. Now, many people balk at my mesely 6 month job search. Well, I got sick of it. I felt defeated. Let down. Discouraged. And any other negative emotion you can imagine. So, pretty much, I said fuck it. I am going to Korea. 

That was in November.

In between then and now, I had to apply for a visa and find a job. That has been quite the roller coaster and actually, one of the most difficult and stressful things I have done. In many ways, I have felt like Korea is my last option. If something could have gone wrong with this visa process, it has. It has taken months to get an FBI background check (which was for my visa) which my cat subsequently sat on and got all muddy. I have lost jobs I counted on and which forced me to reconsider the entire endeavor. I didn’t even have a visa (let alone plane ticket) until last week. There have been a few vocal people (you all know who you are, lol) who have said, maybe these are signs, all this stuff, that you aren’t supposed to go? Maybe.  But I decided, if it was meant to be, it would be. The visa gods would align and everything would fall into place. And, it has. So, I am going.

Why else am I going? I am a nomad. It is official. I feel a bit constricted here at the moment and did when I made this decision a few months ago. Being abroad (whether traveling or living) lets me breathe a little easier. I can’t really explain it. You either get it or you don’t. People ask (a lot of people…) don’t you want to “settle down” (whatever that means), get those “things” we are supposed to collect in our “adult” lives (spouses/cars/homes/real jobs/maybe a dog). Well, I guess I walk to a bit of the beat of my own drum. If you really know me, you know I am a bit crazy and live my life that way. And so, I am off.

Is it hard, leaving all the time? All the goodbyes? All the packing? The never being “settled” never having an address that isn’t my own? Of course. Absolutely. But it was just as frustrating feeling like I was sitting around shitting my time away while the interest on my outrageous student loans piled up. The student loans that paid for the Master’s Degree that hasn’t gotten me a job…I feel a bit like I am rambling. Probably because I am rambling and I am exhausted. But also, because the decision to go to Korea was something I struggled with a lot. Am I making the right decision for my career path? Will this set me back? Am I really pushing away the “things” that people want me to have? Is this the right decision? But, I am going anyhow. I think we should do the things that scare us.  They challenge and change us the most.

So, many of my good-byes have been said. And, there were tears. And there were certainly be more tomorrow. It is a part of this life I that have chosen. But, it gets harder every.single.time. The scary thing about going away is that life can change in an instant. It can also change you. If you let it. So, I will board that plan tomorrow (ok, actually today) knowing that life will go on without me here. People will change. Life will move forward. But, so will I. 

Ok, enough with this philosophical and reflective blogging.

Tonight, I have been packing. Correction: this pack week I have been packing. Actually, I packed 3 times and had to start over. You see, I have this problem. No matter how many times I travel and leave, I bring too much shit. I feel like I need everything. Plus, Korean Air has weird baggage allowances, or at least that is what I am blaming it on.  So packing has been quite the adventure. One may wonder, what the hell are you bringing, for a year, in Korea? Before I answer that, I should explain a few things. I know quite a few people who have taught in Korea (and who have loved it, by the way) who have helped me and patiently answered all of my 1,568 questions. They (and many chat boards have recommended bringing clothes for a year (unless you are super skinny, clothes are hard to find), toothpaste/tampons/dental floss/gum/deodorant for a year because It either tastes disgusting (gum/toothpaste) or is very difficult or almost impossible to find, and when found is very expensive (deodorant/tampons/dental floss). Oh, and underwear for a year. So, I have a year supply or so of all of those items.

Here is what else is inside a 25” suitcase, a backpacking backpack (both being checked, nearing 50 lbs), a carry on suitcase and regular sized backpack (both hopefully coming onboard with me):

5 pairs of jeans

Black slacks/black pencil skirt

5-7 pairs of shorts/capris

7-8 skirts

7 sweaters

7 longsleeves

10-12 tanktops

5-7 short sleeves

2 fleeces

1 heavy winter jacket

1 medium short winter/fall coat

My UW hooded sweatshirt

5 pairs of yoga/workout pants/shorts

30ish pairs of underwear

15 bras (regular/sport)

2 flip flops (Teva and crappy old navy ones)

Chaco sandals

Merrell water/trail shoes

Tennis shoes

Black heels

3 pairs of flats

Boots (fake Ugg style)

An assortment of tea

An assortment of granola bars

Jumprope

Resistance bands

Ipod

Laptop

Camera

Digital converter

6 or so books

Lots of pictures (to decorate my room and show people)

4 scarves

Lots of socks

And a lot of other random shit

Ok, my eyelids are getting heavy. I think it is time to say goodnight. If I did not get a chance to say goodbye to any of you before going, then know I wish I could have! If you were able to come out to my birthday or see me recently, thank you, I appreciated it and liked having the chance to say goodbye to so many of you. Saying goodbye for me is very hard. The last 6 or so hours packing, writing and cleaning, I have been listing to Ingrid Michaelson and at times have gotten very emotional. It can’t be possible that I am leaving for an entire year and won’t see any of your faces for that long. It is hard. But, I know I can do it. For those of you struggling with my departure, know that I am also struggling with leaving you as well, and probably more so and will miss you more than you can even fathom.

I came across this quote in a travel memoir book today that I read years ago and it really resonated with me. I feel like it articulates much better than I can how I feel:

“There are times when I'm traveling, when I'm far from home, that I am so forlorn that I can't remember why I chose this particular profession. I yearn to be home so fiercely that I feel as though my heart will pop out of my chest. And then I step out and see the world spreading out around me. I know where I'm heading: I am heading home. But on the way there, I see so many corners to round and doors to open, so many encounters to chance upon, so many tiny moments to stumble into that tell huge stories, that I remember exactly why I took this particular path. The journey begins again; the story starts over; I gather myself and go out to see what I can see and tell it as best as I can, and the beckoning of home is always, forever, there, just over the next horizon.”  -Susan Orlean

Here are two more of my most favorite travel quotes:

"Lives of Wander: Sometimes the showers are dirty & the bus breaks down. Sometimes you don't understand a word being spoken. Sometimes you wonder why you do this, why you go rather than stay, why you care more for wings than roots. But then you remember that you don't have a choice. You were born to wander, to explore, to always wonder just what is waiting over the horizon. And most of the time, it's pure exhilaration & unexpected discovery. It's life just the way you want it. It's a life of wander."

"Traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt...that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby-I just don't care what is puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to-I just don't care" -Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat, Pray, Love

So, there will be stories. There will be adventures. And you can be sure they will all show up here. Part of the reason I write about my experiences abroad is that it is my way of connecting with the rest of you and bringing you into what I am going through. Plus, sometimes my life is just crazy and it deserves to be shared because it is funny.

Let the wagers begin. Will I starve? Will I eat nothing but Kimchee? Will I know how to teach? Will I ever come home? Will I endure some crazy medical or physical crises? Who knows. What I do know and have particularly learned in this past year is that you can’t control life, much less predict it.

Let the adventure begin. I am ready.

I miss you all already. Find me on skype!

If you don’t see an update from me in a while, don’t fret, I am just in orientation!

Love always,

Kimberly

Oh look, its 3:53 am, perhaps some sleep is in the cards for me.